mirror.

I hold on to the notions as self atonement. The humbling of self before God, or who is like one. The added insults of character and leading have been used to hurt self and others. There is an impact despite intentions, aside from weaponizing words as facts when mixed feelings are present.

It is all word jargon—the act of expressing the foul and flagrancy of what is happening. How am I choosing to capture the moment, and how am I truly showing up? I think of the ways I would like to exist and be. I am living in my head more than anything, while my flesh is rotting and decayed. It is easy for someone to see the softer aspects of me while knowing there is chaos in the embodiment of me. So many things being true, yet futile during crucifixion. The act of putting one’s mouth on another and not understanding the laws of retribution: what seems undeserving for someone is another’s rejoice in it taking place as a flawed victory of bereavement. 

Choosing things from thoughts of all is lost perfects the art of crashing out. It’s the awareness and notice of that, the desire to deviate and want more, grab more, and delineate in midst of opposition.

Weakness, separatist—a new depravity. 

I put other things above and before me to overcompensate. All to be a day late and dollar short.