transcendence.

Life is interesting and has a funny sense of humor. It is complex and painful, yet interspersed with points of beauty, joy, and happiness. The joke? There is no meaning. We convince ourselves that life revolves around the wheel of “there is a reason because everything is a conspiracy.” The illusion? Believing that there is a reason for existing because the world “owes” you. Denial arises when you add the rejection of what you feel “owed” to entitlement.

We often become angry when we give something we would love to do for ourselves but cannot. The truth is, many of us are unable to love ourselves at our core. This concept mirrors how programming is created. We build functions and ideas of what we believe is supposed to happen for us. We wire ourselves based on illusions, and those illusions shape our perceptions. As a result, many people end up living within those constructs, failing to see beyond them with clarity and reality. They begin to believe the lies and limiting beliefs in their minds, only viewing things at face value while neglecting what they truly feel. This process embodies a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You start to believe you deserve pain because that seems to be all you attract. Have you ever noticed how easy it is to believe something negative? It is so easy to get caught up in that idea because life’s reality is not always gumdrops and lollipops. But if you were to step outside yourself and observe from a different perspective, ask: is that realistic? Is it realistic to keep acting on the emotions and pain caused by someone in the past as a means of coping? Is it realistic to continue blaming others for self-inflicted behaviors rooted in unresolved wounds?

This creates a trap—a state of being stuck with resentment toward others and a lack of accountability for yourself. It fosters a lack of self-awareness, which fuels self-sabotage. While it is valid to feel pain from what has been inflicted upon you, that pain does not diminish the aftermath of your actions. Others playing the role of God—strictly holding someone else accountable while ignoring their own shortcomings—is a form of ignorance in many cases. It is remarkable how often people tell me not to give others chances when I have done the same for them. There is no need to throw stones from a glass house.

I cannot deny my role in the situations I have caused for myself. I cannot sit in my own pile of problems and claim I do not make mistakes. It would be like saying, “Since I cannot deal with my mess, let me share it with you and blame you for my unresolved issues because I feel justified in the moment.” Excuse me, but do you see the flaw in this? You cannot save your demons if they do not want to be saved, and you cannot save someone who does not want to save themselves.

Sitting in denial instead of addressing guilt, karma, and the lessons to be learned from your experiences only blocks blessings and opportunities. The more you dwell on the past, the more it will continue to manifest, and the more you will suffer—both consciously and subconsciously. Ignorance is not always bliss.

Stop letting people narrate your truth when they know the role they played. Stop letting them tell you, “You should not feel this way because I did not mean it.” However, the same applies when you hurt someone else or project onto them.

You can apologize to someone repeatedly, but if you do not choose to embody a higher version of yourself, you will not learn the lesson. This applies even to those who hurt me. Yet, I refuse to allow anyone to continue disrespecting me. I refuse to entertain gossip rooted in resentment toward others. I am not someone’s emotional crutch, nor am I responsible for someone’s guilt. Blaming others for known toxic behaviors is not acceptable. I refuse to perpetuate broken cycles or carry harmful generational curses when I have the ability to be greater.

I am not giving a pass or a microphone to others to dictate how I feel, what I think, or what I say. Those who truly want the best for me would not pray against me. They would not use me for personal or selfish vendettas. They would not consciously wish harm against those I have forgiven and reconciled with. I can love someone from afar and never speak to them again. I can maintain boundaries while still wishing them the best. I can hold myself accountable and take responsibility for my actions.

I want to live for myself, not according to someone else’s limitations, rooted in what they could not achieve for themselves. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone deserves a place in your life. We can acknowledge what we have done to each other, but I can still choose to grow without you, even if things are better.

It is amazing how the assertion of moving differently surfaces when I no longer give energy to someone or to negativity—when I establish boundaries, uphold moral values, and refuse to live by deception, gossip, or the chains of the past. Why would I choose stagnation when I know better?

I give my life its own meaning. I would rather live with purpose than in the shadows or situations of others. I would rather deny myself once and for all to step into a higher sense of self than live a life full of denial about what should have, could have, or would have been.

You owe the world; the world does not owe you. Without the world, how would you have a sense of self? How would you learn to fall and pick yourself up again? How would you gain wisdom and knowledge from pain, using it to elevate yourself?